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I have a lot of love to give; I like to dote on people.Polyamory helps me do that without putting all my needs on my husband.'She said they first brought up the subject after moving in together aged 18 when they came across the question 'how do you feel about monogamy? "Boyfriend and f*ck buddy both miss the mark, but in different ways. I hate them all." I sip thoughtfully and stretch my toes to a point.While most women feel monogamy is nonnegotiable in marriage, a number of couples are pushing the boundaries of what we expect for wedded bliss.Here's your answer: he’d just had sex — with another woman. There’s actually a word for the joyful feeling that a polyamorous person has when his or her lover or spouse walks through the door after making love to another lover: it's called compersion.Compersion is such a novel concept that you won’t even find the word in the dictionary (unless you look in the Urban dictionary).

But frankly, that isn't the way it's done in my polyamorous community, or my open marriage. For me, sex with someone else is not a deal breaker. But having some openness is one of many ingredients that keep the erotic life active in our marriage.

I am sitting on the couch in my underwear, watching him flip casually through his phone. I could certainly get used to the idea of having a lover. A handsome one with tattooed forearms and soft brown eyes.

He is probably checking the OKCupid app, seeing if any cute girls messaged him back. So embarrassing," he says, grimacing at me like I'm a lunatic. That is, if I can bring myself to say the word with a certain amount of finesse.

My husband and I were in the backyard, lazing in the sun, sipping drinks as he told me about what he got up to the night before.

As he talked, his face looked brighter, his eyes clearer.

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